Dying Well and the Divine (in all its manifestations)

2 January 2024, 7:15 pm

The journey towards death is as much about getting to know yourself as any part of life. Learning to recognise your needs – be they medical, emotional or spiritual – is something that may become more acute when you are closer to death. Being able to identify these needs is another central part of what it means to die well.

https://www.artofdyingwell.org/what-is-dying-well/our-journey-through-life/what-is-a-good-death/

Dying well is a subjective experience.

For some it could be about being surrounding with family and friends and feeling relaxed, content and fulfilled in their final weeks, days and moments. For others the focus could be on resolution - resolving tensions, and addressing decisions made and regrets, or reconciling with a loved one or with their spiritual affinities.  Also linked to dying well is clarity on where one wants to be when they die, be it in a care setting such as a residential home or hospice, in a health setting such as a hospital, or at home – spaces that people deem to be spaces of safety and care.

Then there is always wrapped up with the dying process the period of realisation. For some, the dying journey has had a long lead up time, with a slow realisation that care is set to change from the prolonging of life through medical intervention to palliative care rooted in making one as comfortable as possible. For others the dying process has been thrust on them through an unexpected diagnosis, sudden illness, or injury – calling for another whole set of circumstances to ponder and resolve in ways that make dying well a possibility.  Alongside the process and pathways towards fostering a sense of peace and acceptance and indeed expectative agency and forethought, sits the many ways people can spell out their desires and care expectations, as spotlighted in the entry on future care plans.

For me the focus on dying well is an important one and a useful short-cut answer I can use when asked what my role is. I love its subjectivity and the fact that helping someone achieve the death they want involves curiosity. You cannot assume what any person wants, so dying well becomes a bespoke search - a quest that you make as you walk alongside a dying person or someone who is planning their death. For some (not all), spirituality and religion will be (or become) important. And here I am set to be blessed.

Blessed in a sense of being honoured or being privy to something sacred and divine. Like dying well, one’s sense of the divine is subjective. Being able to explore and observe in my time with some of my clients the divine in its many manifestations and practices is for me powerful.

It fits with my worldview that we are all connected. In no way does that mean that I will work to shape or foster this as I am clear that my role is largely facilitative. However, such work - not least the exploration of the divine – can only feed my soul.

For this, I am eternally grateful.